House of Cards
by fugug
Summary: Neville really doesn't mind being a wallflower as long as he graduates, practices herbology and nurtures his secret crush for Harry Potter in peace. Though he's no pushover, suddenly being the center of Harry's attention as well as Voldermort's is a whole other bludger game. Neville L/Harry P, romance, gore, angst, MPREG, sap, illness, hurt/comfort, swearing, dark humour, AU
1. Chapter 1

Author: Fugu

Archive: ask before

Warning: gore, I haven't read further than a third of _Half Blood Prince_ so it's pretty much AU, major OOC, **major** sap, angst and oh yes, pretty plot less

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: purely for entertainment purposes, own no copyright.

Title: House of cards

Pairing: obviously most incredibly sappy Harry Potter/ Neville Longbottom. Other pairings as I go.

Notes: So I'm Quebecer thus my mother tongue is french and I cannot write British nor American English. All that to say that the Potter people will be speaking Canadian English. ***shrug *** more _notes_ below.

 **House of cards**

Chapter 1

* * *

'T _alking about Harry, writing about him is quite difficult.' Neville thought as he bit the tip of his quill. He bent back to his journal. 'I mean there is a sense of admiration I can't shake. He's so confident and charismatic. He always looks upon me and all the other people he encounters, kindly (well except for Malfoy.) I know he has his problems thought. It's not like I think he's infallible...the...crush I have on him, yes a crush, I admit it I'm gay or at least bi'_. Neville stopped writing, his cheeks flaming. It was the first time he had actually acknowledged it on paper...it made it so definitive. He decided to double the strength of the locking charm on his journal, right this instance while he remembered. ' _The crush I have on him, I wont lie to myself, I must share it with all the female body of the school and the few other guys who are like me. I fantasize that the smiles, laughter and attention he shares with Hermione and Ron are also shared with me. Even Malfoy has it better than me, unbeknownst to the parties involved, Hermione, Ron, Draco and his posse are characters of the live soap opera that feeds the brunt of school's gossip. I'm invisible and I should resent it, yet I cherish those unrequited feelings. They make me feel alive! Despite the stutter I get when he addresses me or the way my heart beats painfully hard when I see him in the hallways...I recall this special afternoon, last year, when the winter sun had shone through the alcove and made his eyes impossibly sparkle, his fair skin, his black hair, his coloring had been so radiant! That image is burnt into my mind and is a favorite recollection of mine when I need a pick me up. I would never say he looked ethereal, no what makes him so fascinating are his imperfections. The right combination of imperfections that make him so human? That reminds me, that being irrevocably human, I am utterly embarrassed when I lose points in almost every subject when he tries so hard to gain them in the mist of saving his life, the wizarding world and defeating...Voldermort._ ' Neville shuddered as he wrote the name, but he made a point of trying to be honest with himself in his own diary. ' _He has to survive and_ _I hope he finds love even if it isn't me. I want him to be happy_ '

Neville was just finishing this sentence when he heard the boys coming up in the dorm room. When he felt like writing he made a point of coming up early to do it undisturbed. He knew once the boys would be in the room they often played a game or two before going to bed. As he closed his diary and felt the locking charm come into action, the curtains over his bed were violently pushed open by an enthusiastic Seamus. His other counterpart Dean squabbling with Ron about a pack of cards. So cards it was tonight; Harry was grinning from his perch on Ron's bed. The room had gone from dead silent to cacophony in a split second.

"Neville, what have you been doing here all alone in the dark."Seamus enthused. The interperllated was surreptitiously sliding his diary under his pillow, not a place of choice but it would do for now and was trying to think of a vague reason, not to sound too girly...But before he could speak.

"We're going to play a game of cards, we'll be betting chocolate frogs, come on."

Neville was about to join them when he saw a glimpsed at the dark blue sky through the window. He felt good and at peace and taking a short walk before curfew to be alone with his thoughts a little bit more seemed very good. Being in seventh year, curfew was at a later hour than for the rest of the student body.

"Ah sorry Seamus, but I think I'll pass." He got up from bed and pulled his boots on going to retrieve his clock after putting on a sweater.

"You're going out in this cold?" Seamus exclaimed. The others weren't paying them any attention still caught up in their quarrel over which card game they would play. It was a prerequisite for each game night.

Neville just shrugged. Halfway through the door a voice stopped him.

"Wait, I'll walk with you it's on the way to my room."

"Harry?"Ron inquired.

"We've got the transfiguration project to start, I need to write my proposal."

Harry had grown up too fast. He might be prefect (a punishment dished out by Headmaster Snape apparently) and survived to be in seventh year (despite the Dark Lord's best tries ) but he felt a century older while other times he succumbed to childish fits. His maturity was in his voice, his strength and in his height. His youth came through in his ability to retain a surprising amount of naivety.

Although not as tall as Ron, he was now half a head taller than most boys in their promotion and surely taller than Neville. At least he was of average height but he still couldn't drop the extra weight, despite his rigorous horticulture practice.

Neville realized he'd been taking too long to answer and smiled ruefully while shaking the cobwebs out of his head. He was about to speak when Dean budged in.

"Aw come on Harry, it's due in three days,"

"Precisely, not much to get a head start, anyways I'll join you next time promise." He kept the door open as he tried to end the conversation.

"But Harry, without you we'll only be three, since this prefect business we've hardly seen you." Ron tried one last effort.

"Aww, poor guys" Harry laughed, "you'll survive," and the door closed behind him. Neville was already at the Fat Lady's portrait when Harry caught up with him.

"Hey wait up! You didn't answer. Can I come with?"

"Whaa?" Neville asked puzzled, "We passed the prefect stair case."

Harry had the sense to blush, "I actually finished my proposal. It was just an excuse. But if you don't want to it's okay."

Neville shifted his head to the side happy that he hadn't yet stuttered. "Okay." In his head he was doing cartwheels.

Harry smiled "Great I'll get my cloak." It was a thing of seconds as his cloak had been on the sofa near the fireplace.

~oo0oo~

They walked the corridors in silence. Outside the snow and air were crisp. The moon lighting their path to the lake where Neville directed their trek. In the astral light the snow looked like countless crystals fallen from the stars. There was almost no wind, a rarity. Near the lake they sat, Neville bringing his cloak closer around his body. He looked up at the sky for a while almost forgetting that Harry was there as he emptied his mind. When he started feeling the vertigo that the vastness of the landscape always triggered in him, he closed his eyes and brought his head down before he started swaying. After a moment he opened them and looked at Harry who was still contemplating the sky. The situation in which he was at the moment was quite odd. Never had it happened before and there was no precedent to hint that it could happen.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

Harry turned toward Neville and smiled ruefully. "Well it isn't only about the talk, I genuinely wanted to spend some time with you."

Neville lifted a skeptical eyebrow but didn't scoff as he didn't want to offend Harry.

Harry chose to ignore this.

"I was wondering if you wanted to try out as beater on the Quidditch team this year. I wanted to propose your name to Angelina as back-up beater, since the season already started." And that was completely Harry's fault for not having the nerves to ask Neville in October. Although he'd thought the young man would have volunteered on his own and then he'd gotten caught up in practices, prefect duties and his extracurricular courses and search of Horxcruces with Snape. He'd never had time to just get Neville alone.

There was a complete silence. Than Neville burst out laughing so hard he was practically rolling in the snow. The fit took him by surprise, but felt quite good, he didn't have a lot of these.

Harry at the beginning seemed affronted but soon he could see the humor in the situation and chuckled a bit. It was true that when you looked at Neville's history in sports it was an absurd vision.

Neville soon composed himself, rubbing his chest as he sat up.

"Oh Merlin, be still my heart" a few chuckles escaped as he cleared his throat, "Oh Merlin that was good", he looked towards Harry with tears in his eyes, "Don't tell me you're serious about that?"

Harry took a moment to respond, he was looking at Neville with a glazed expression and he seemed miles away all of a sudden.

Neville's eyebrows rose and he passed his hand in front of Harry's face. "Harry?"

Harry blinked "Mhh…sorry I mean yeah I'm serious."

Neville laughed some more "Oh stop having me on, with my renown clumsiness and the wonderful 1st year episode it should dissuade you from putting my name even in the same sentence as broom flying and maybe even broom. I known I did."

"Liar"

Neville choked "What!"

"I saw you practice when nobody is on the pitch, you're a mean beater. You're physical strength when you hit the bludger...I haven't seen many people being able to pull off the distance you can achieve, even Fred and George would be hard pressed."

Neville was looking at him flabbergasted, for a moment speech stolen from him.

"H, how l- long,"damn back to the stuttering, he shut his mouth swallowed, "How long have you been watching me?" he asked a bit panicky.

Harry's hand came to his elbow, his eyes concerned when he saw the man before him pale, his breathing gone shallow.

"I didn't mean to," he hurried to reassure, "and nobody else knows I made sure of it when I found out." That seemed to reassure Neville and he relaxed marginally, color coming back to his cheeks. Harry relaxed.

Neville shook his head while he collected his thoughts "Coming from you it's a huge compliment..." and the boy contemplated what it would be like to be in the team, be part of the boys, to belong, be seen as somebody other than the chubby less than average but nice student. How it would be in a world with friends, just one really, to whom he could ,confess his deep secrets and hang out...but he knew how it was in the real world. He might be good on his own, but the panicky and frantic chaos of the game with teammates counting on him, they whizzing every which way, noise, disorientation, not being able to position himself, the sure accident of hitting one of his own, the embarrassment , humiliation, the defeat. He felt a sour taste in the back of his mouth. Anyhow, it was true that he had started to practice broom flying, he found out two years ago that he had become physically stronger (especially in the arms, shoulders and thighs) because of the hard work he did in herbology during the summers. His personal projects asked for some skills in construction, the muggle way ( building the plots, moving dirt and dung, some plants were also quite big and heavy, he had planted many small trees, etc ) and his balance had improved.

He picked up flying and bludger beating as an outlet. Believe it or not Neville wasn't always sniveling and nice, he could get righteously angry on occasions, thank you very much. He was just decent enough not to beat people about it, like a certain professor that he wouldn't name. He had to admit that at the beginning of this year he had used that outlet a lot, until he was able to control himself better. Now that he thought of it, he hadn't practiced for a couple of months. Sooo, Harry had been watching him all this time? He couldn't help but feel a little giddy.

"I'm sorry but no thanks."

"What, why not!" Harry asked surprised. How could anybody say no to quidditch, especially one which such talent as Neville.

"It's for the security of my would be team mates that I'm declining," he said with a rueful smile.

Harry looked at him puzzled but before a word was uttered Neville cut in "Let's leave it at that Harry, please."

Harry couldn't understand, he had the feeling that he was missing a huge chunk here and it frustrated him, but not more than losing the opportunity to have a good player on his team.

Neville got up and started walking up the hill towards the castle giving Harry the liberty to follow him if he wanted to. He had to stop at the stairs to catch his breath, he hadn't remembered the hill being so steep.

"Are you alright," Harry asked concerned. He had caught up awhile ago but had nothing to say as he'd been going over their talk trying to figure out what had passed that he'd miss.

"Yeah," Neville pushed himself from the stone where he had been leaning, "give me a...minute." He sighed and climbed the stairs which didn't really help his recovery.

"I've been... bit... tired late...ly", he said by way of explanation for his red cheeks and stilted breath when they got to the Gryffindor's entrance after those awfully long flights of stairs. He leaned against the wall a hand to the pain in his side.

He smiled reassuringly towards Harry. "Go on," he gestured towards the portrait, "I'll be... just a minute, I'm sure... you ...tired. Don't worry." he smiled again.

Now that he thought of it he WAS grossly out of shape. The fact that he'd stopped practicing bludger beating and advanced herbology as he did at home couldn't account for that. Moreover, those stairs had been climbed for what would be seven years now and never had he been so winded. By the look Harry was sending, he must've been thinking around the same lines. Where was his "star" beater now.

"Nan it's okay, I can wait a bit." Harry smiled to hide his worry.

* * *

Notes: If you have read my other fics, you know that I just write for the sake of Sap and hurt/comfort; you know that I don't start arcs chronologically either. More so, I'm not a prolific writer, but I need to finish what I start. I hope that publishing will help me finish this story in the next three years? This is a work in progress, meaning that at anytime I might go back to rewrite and polish this fic as I add chapters. _**If any of these things are peeves, then you shouldn't be reading this story**_. Cheers ^_^


	2. Chapter 2

Author: Fugu

Archive: ask before

Warning: gore, I haven't read further than a third of _Half Blood Prince_ so it's pretty much AU, major OOC, **major** sap, angst, MPREG, anxiety attacks and oh yes, pretty plot less

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: purely for entertainment purposes, own no copyright.

Title: House of cards

Pairing: obviously most incredibly sappy Harry Potter/ Neville Longbottom, eventual Hemione G./ Ron W., other pairings as I go.

Notes: So I'm Quebecer thus my mother tongue is french and I cannot write British nor American English. All that to say that the Potter people will be speaking Canadian English. ***shrug ***

If you have read my other fics, you know that I just write for the sake of Sap and hurt/comfort; you know that I don't start arcs chronologically either. More so, I'm not a prolific writer, but I need to finish what I start. I hope that publishing will help me finish this story in the next three years? This is a work in progress, meaning that at anytime I might go back to rewrite and polish this fic as I add chapters. _**If any of these things are peeves, then you shouldn't be reading this story**_. Cheers ^_^

 **House of cards**

Chapter 2

* * *

For the next few days Neville seemed to encounter Harry at every corner; a drastic change from his previous six years of life at Hogwarts. The boy was always there to send a smile, a wave.. and harass him about joining Gryffindor quidditch. Harry was nothing if not persistent, and Neville couldn't fathom why his joining the team was so crucial. Even so, he was barely managing with the normal curriculum he wasn't going to aggravate his days even more. But for what it was worth Neville didn't quite mind the attention, after all the only person he was hurting with his fantasy was himself,...and he could afford that with the little attention he was getting. Other students started noticing said attention and all of a sudden people were inviting him to gatherings for the next Hogsmeade weekends, seats were saved for him in class and at lunch when he was coming in late, and the kids were genuinely kinder with him. It was nice, but vexing, why couldn't he get that basic human kindness on his own, why did he deserve it only when associated with Harry Potter?

Unfortunately the positive could not survive without the negative and he was also getting much attention from the enemies of Harry. That is how he found himself confronted to Draco and his goons a Thursday afternoon in a hallway not far from the potion class.

He didn't really know how it had escalated, he didn't remember saying much but they were now facing each other, wands raised, edging to be the first to send a hex. Students were circling them encouraging either party.

'How the fuck did I get here!' thought Neville frantically, sweat making his wand slippery in his grasp.

"Look, l-l-look Dr-Draco, I-if we both p-p-put our wands down… ww w we don't h-have to do th- this."He didn't care if it sounded cowardly, he didn't want to be turned into whatever and his mind had gone blank about any hex to throw in retaliation. If it weren't horribly improper at this time, he'd be laughing at the irony. A DA member, one that had been there the night of Sirius' death, that had survived the schools attempted massacre in year six, and he couldn't remember a simple hex to fry Draco.

"Shut up, you Squib, how dare you touch me!"

"T, touch you? I didn't Touch you?"

"Yes you have when you hurtled you fat mass pass me, I don't want to be soiled by, let's face it a mudlood, your a humiliation to all purebloods. Tell me," the sneer, "how are papa and mama doing in the loony bin, I reckon it would do you good to join them in their vegetation. Makes you wonder where you got your talent in herbology, get it?" Draco laughed joined by the other students.

Neville felt his heart stop, and then start back again painfully hard. 'No, no, no' his secret was out! How did Draco know about this, by his father? 'Merlin there are people around and they are all laughing.' How could they…the pain, the humiliation. He'd gone deathly pale, his nostril flaring and his eyes huge, shinning with a somewhat insane glint. He couldn't hear the gasp Hermione emitted as the Trio came forth and heard the last of Draco's taunt, or Harry calling his name as he tried to get to him through the throng of people his wand ready to hex Draco to next week.

"I say, how can you even look yourself in the mirror knowing that that's the kind of ..."

"EXPELLIARMUS!"

The blast was so strong that Draco's wand shot past his ear (and possibly hit somebody in the face by the scream coming from behind him,) with the owner finding himself propelled to the end of the hallway a good thirty feet beyond, body slamming in the wall to then boneless drop to the floor leaving a garish red trail. Dust from the cracked stones not yet settling.

Silence.

Only his harsh panting and the erratic beating of his blood.

"What is the meaning of this!" the shout of a furious Headmaster.

All of a sudden sound came back as well as his peripheral vision. He could see the students looking at him with sense of surprise, even terror. Some of them were picking themselves up from the floor, he couldn't fathom how they got there and next to him, Harry, Harry looking at him with the most flabbergasted expression he'd ever seen, slowly taking a step back from him.

"Mr. LONGBOTTOM!" He swallowed and turned very slowly trying to give his face time to melt from the grimace he felt it was frozen in. Somehow, dammit the motherfucker deserved it. He just couldn't suppress the cold anger crisping his body rigid and making his heart flutter.

"H-h-headmaster S-Snape...!" he whispered.

"What have you to say for yourself!" the menacing black robbed man stalked towards him like grim death.

He looked at his still smoking wand. He looked at the heap of Draco Malfoy...Madame Pomfrey scurrying passed him with a look of immense disappointment. _I thought you were better than stooping to their level,_ the look said. He hadn't seen them, heard them come.

He said nothing. He couldn't defend himself, he had drawn first wand. He had only disarmed Draco but the strength he'd use...Since when had it been this powerful?

"Well?" Snape whispered, sweetly sibilant.

Neville blinked.

"Detention, every weekend for 2 months, I will be speaking to your head of house."

Neville tucked his wand in his pants and taking his bag turned away to go to his next class. He had nothing to say to that. He needed to go cool down, hot and cold blasts running the length of his body, an annoying incessant buzz in his ears, maybe beat a few bludgers out of his system.

"What are you still doing here!" barked Snape sending the students scrambling away.

"Neville" Harry calling for him.

No he didn't want to talk with anyone right now. The shakes were starting and he'd do or say something he'd truly regret now.

"Neville!"more urgent.

He walked faster. 'Leave me alone Harry.'

"Neville!" he wanted to run but fuck it.

He stopped, gritting his teeth and turned to wait for the Boy Who Lived To Be Annoying to catch up.

"What is it" it was a bit harsh, but couldn't be helped.

Harry froze, surprise painting his features.

"Neville..."

Neville worked his jaw, nostrils flared as he tried to calm his breathing.

"look, Harry, now is not the time." he ground out. "fuck!" Harry nearly chocked at the swear word.

"I need to go punch something. I just fuck, the bastard!"

Harry didn't know what to say, what to do, he'd never seen Neville this worked up over an issue concerning himself really. He was plenty pissed when it came to defending others, thought.

"What can I do to help?"

~oo0oo~

The bludger crashed into the practice post, pulverized it. On its return trip Harry intercepted it and fought it back into the case. Neville looked at him savagely but Harry had seen him wan and he wasn't going to let the man injure himself no matter how pissed.

Neville clumsily landed and stalked towards Harry

"What are you doing? I wasn't finished."

"You're soaked to the bones and you've been at it for three hours already. Enough. You're exhausted."

"Who the, who are you to tell me ..."

"Your arms are shaking. You're shaking"

Neville knees buckled and he collapsed. Harry gave a shout and Neville found himself leaning into Harry. He grabs a handful of shirt shaking not sure what he wants to do, punch him, hug him. Finally all the fight leaves and he just slumps. That's when he realizes its hard to breath, he feels drained but at the same time so good, so light.

"Sorry. Sorry Harry. I shouldn't have dragged you out. Dammit."

Harry grunts and pulls him close. Neville contemplates how glorious this feels, but Harry is a friend and he can't indulge to much. He's just wondering if he can breath easy soon enough to get up and get back inside. alone he wouldn't have cared but Harry is out with him, for him. Despite himself warmth suffuses his being.

Harry does realize that after a few minutes Neville is still agitated; Is his anger is so great that three hours of savage bludger beating ins't enough to drain him?

Neville tenses and Harry let's him push away. He rubbes his hair back sheepishly.

"You can leave me to right up the field on my own, Harry. You've missed class enough for me already and despite being a prefect I wouldn't put it past Snape to give you detention, " He chuckles.

Harry smirk. " After the boy who lived, the first prefect in history to get detention?"

Neville snickers.

"Don't worry Nev. I've got the afternoon off to be on call two days a week. (He was never really on call those afternoons since they were spent on Horxcruxe research with Snape as they continued Dumbledore's legacy. But Neville didn't need to know that.) And making sure you're okay certainly falls in my prefect duties anyways." Neville deflates a bit. Of course prefect duties, taking care of the house, making the quidditch team strong, making sure distressed students got the right kind of help...Oh. Neville was a fool! "Still", Harry continued not knowing how his words had crushed the blonde, "I would be here with you even if I weren't prefect." And just like that Neville was so happily surprised that a strong blush suffused his cheeks. Harry's smirk softened.

"Come on, let's put these away" he gestured to the sport gear strewn around them," and maybe go get hot coco? I have a special pass for the kitchens," Harry whispered conspiratorially.

Neville chuckled as he got up, but abruptly stopped as strong vertigo washed over him. He felt a lead weight drop in his chest and his lungs deflate abruptly, the world twisted. He came too, half slumped in Harry's arms panting harshly and shaking, teeth chattering. He couldn't feel his arms and they hung like dead weight.

"Neville! Neville! Shit, talk to me!"

"Im g...Im good, sorry" He gasped.

"You are not good! What was that? How can I help?"

"It's fine... ...gimmami...minute" He gasped as he blinked stars back from his vision. To much oxygen, Neville consciously tried to slow his breathing. Gradually, feeling was coming back to his arms, little pin needles and queerly his groin tingled also. His heart labored hard and slow in his chest. Harry rubbing his arm was helping immensely.

"Sorry, I have anxiety attacks sometimes, " He hastened to say once he was steady enough.

Harry made a surprised noise.

"Yeah, my symptoms are rather more dramatic, but short lived." He flexed his hands, testing if he could push off Harry. Harry only permitted a few inches to check his pale features but clear eyes. " What sucks is that I usually don't feel it coming and other times I go for hours or days with symptoms just strong enough to be annoying." He took a deep breath, held and let it out slowly with eyes closed. " Sorry, I haven't had either or in a long time."

"How long?"

"A year and half, two maybe?"

Harry's lips thinned in a grim line. Finding out that the one you loved had been sick all this time right under your nose and you never realized... A rumble of thunder reminded him that they had been under the slushy rain for a while. They needed to move. Rain and snow was just a disgusting mix. The hand he had resting on Neville's neck wanted to dissuade him as he felt the hard pulse underneath and the tremors still running through his body.

He usually didn't do so but he displayed an unusual bit of magic by sending apparating their equipment back into the lockers with the soundless twist of his wand. Neville, still dizzy didn't have the energy to comment. Harry got both of them on his broom and flew to the arched halls of the cobblestone courtyard. With the wet snow, no one was out to see them and they were closer to the Gryffindor tower.

Neville was steady enough on his feet but Harry escorted him through passageways that brought them to the Fat Lady's portrait without having to climb one flight of stair.

"How did you manage that?" at that Neville had to comment even thought he was gasping from the mild anxiety that just didn't want to leave him.

Harry's only answer was to usher him in and well, they couldn't skip the stairs to the dorms but at least he stopped halfway and pushed Neville into his private room. By that time Neville had to sit heavily on the bed and fold on himself squeezing his arms tight around himself to stop the shakes and calm his heart down. There was a fist of pain squeezing at the center of his chest and if he didn't calm soon he'd have arrhythmia.

"Nev?" Harry had only conceded to bringing them back to the dorms because Neville had said he had medication for this, else they would be in Pomfrey's infirmary at this moment.

"There's a small coffer, metal in my bedside drawer. Can you go get it, please." He whispered, still trying to regulate his breath. He just didn't have the strength yet to lift his head from his knees. The darkness behind his eyelids was soothing.

"Ill be back in a minute. How a bout you lie down?'

"Kay"

And he sat up holding on to Harry's arm as he felt he might tip over with vertigo. Harry got him lying on his side and Neville pushed his face in the pillows shivering.

Harry was back promptly and in the space of minutes helped Neville take his meds which, he was surprised to find, half were muggle. The moment the sedatives hit Neville felt his chest loosen up and his shoulders relax. His arms and groin stopped lurching and he just felt all in all relieved. The shaking stopped from one tremor to the next and a soft heaviness pushed him into the mattress.

"Oh, thank god," he sighed.

He was on his back and Harry was sitting beside him on the bed. He looked up as he felt a drying charm pass through and the short cold of having his wet clothes replaced by pajamas.

Harry put his wand on the dresser and got up to start pulling his own cloths off the boring way and Neville opened his mouth to say how sorry he was again that Harry had to help him through this.

"Don't speak. Looks like you feel better, but" He put a hand on Neville's chest, Neville mesmerized by the skin Harry's opened shirt let see, "your heart is still racing and you're still a bit shaky" he said moving his hand to grasp one of Neville's. Neville would have liked to say that his heart was pounding out of lust but the truth was the meds forced his nerves to calm but the symptoms took longer to pass, he just didn't feel them as much.

Neville closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths as Harry changed into casual dry clothes. Neville blinked and realized that supper was just starting when he looked at the room's clock, despite how dark it was from the storm raging outside.

Harry's hand grasped his face, his thumb stroking his cheek.

Neville grasped it wondering what kind of thing was growing between them.

" You should go eat. I'll fall asleep soon and if you pass by the infirmary, Madame Pomfrey will write a word to excuse me from classes." He whispered

"Has she had to write notes like that often?"

"No" Neville said pushing into Harry's hand " I usually tough through it and the bad ones like today, I was fortunate enough to have them at home mostly."

"You powered through this at school? During class?" Harry exclaimed with disbelief.

"Well," Neville looked sheepish " I never really fainted from an attack before," and he coughed as his heart lurched and stumbled reacting to the same erroneous electrical message his nerves did to put him in a state of fight or flight, outside of situations that should trigger it.

Before he could stop it he brought his free hand to rub at his chest wishing he could skip the arrhythmia. Harry concentrated on the carotid pulse under his hand and frowned as he felt it skip periodically.

"Another symptom", Neville tried to reassure, "it's mild and I don't need any medication for it. Don't worry it goes on it own. Its just annoying."

Harry closed his eyes and sighed. He knew nothing of the man he loved. He was totally blind to what he'd been trough for years, on his own. He needed to research this disease and understand how to help him. Damn it, guilt gnawed at him.

"I can't help but worry, he said, but I'll go to the infirmary and we'll have supper here, the kitchen will bring us trays."

He left word with Luna that he wouldn't be on call, something that occurred often enough that she didn't really ask why anymore. Harry also sent word to Headmaster Snape. As headmaster, he should be awar of Neville's health issues, yet harry knew he'd get in trouble for this anyways. When he got to the infirmary, he could only glean a few details on the disease from Pomfrey because of patient/ mediwizard confidentiality though she insists on escorting him back to his rooms to check up on Neville, which reassured him slightly.

Neville was dozing when they got they got back and the table of the sitting area sported a nice spread of beef ragout and potatoes, hot bread and plenty of tea with hot chocolate for desert.

Madame Pomfrey approved of the high protein meal. She bustled over and did a quick check up on Neville who had waken up in the meantime.

"It's fine Poppy, you can speak freely in front of Harry. There's no hiding the disorder after what he's seen anyways."

The check up was mere minutes and Poppy declared Neville back in good shape. "Make sure to take it easy the next few days and nap when your schedule permits it." was her diagnosis.

Soon after she left , Harry brought some food to Neville, who was quite ravenous. The warm food made him feel whole again and despite being in pajamas, Neville insisted on going back to his room and work on a bit of homework before sleep. Harry reluctantly let him go and prepared himself to face the music with Snape.

~ooOoo~

The next day, Friday was uneventful and slow. Neville didn't quite care for the stares he was getting from his fellow students and the distance they had resumed between him and them was welcomed. He wasn't feeling too well, still tired from the previous' day's episode, he was sore all over. He got to all his classes, Potions included where he endured the abuse of Snape (Yes, because the man was greedy and Neville couldn't get a break so Severus Snape extraordinaire was Headmaster and Potions teacher AND head of house, WTF!) and the whines of Malfoy, completed some school work and then went to sleep. He didn't get to see Harry at all, except in Potions where he sent him a tired smile turning swiftly when called upon by Snape about the suspicious color of his potion which turned out to be the right one after all, the petty tease. (He wasn't too bad at potions this year, making only one on five potions blow up.) So he didn't get to see Harry's worried gaze and missed Harry at the class' exit as he was already late for Astronomy which was at the other side of the goddamn castle. Running hadn't been an option, the stairs had been grueling but he'd survived the day with the only thing to show for it being extra work for tardiness. Never had he been so happy to get to his bed.

The next morning he felt even worse when he realized that he had to spend all day in detention with Snape instead of being at Hogsmeade. He woke up late and trekked to his duties like a condemned going to the gallows. All day he polished cauldrons and rearranged ingredients to finally be let out early before supper. With a reminder from Snape that he was to be back same hour next day and that as awful as he looked, if he felt half as bad, he should go to the infirmary and and get an anti-flu potion. Snape didn't want to get any of his ingredients contaminated by teenage mucus as they were going to prepare cuttings the next day. Neville hadn't quite realized he looked awful, well more so than usual. He used the mirror only to brush his teeth and wash his face, he didn't indulge in the sadistic contemplation of mediocrity anymore.

He climbed the stairs to the main hall slowly and had to stop once as his chest twinged, a burning flash of pain that took his breath away. Maybe he should go see Madame Pomfrey now. He'd never felt so bad after an episode before.

He was getting close to main hall when he felt that suffocating sensation again. His whole body suddenly flushed with warmth. He felt woozy and swayed a bit, getting a grip on a nearby windowsill. He really needed to get out. Just a bit to get some fresh air. He hadn't realized that he was gasping as he made way for the doors. Just a bit of brisk winter air to clear his head and cool him down. He stumbled down the steps and collapsed face first in the snow, inert.

Harry was one of the few that stayed behind. He didn't kid himself, it was entirely because Neville would be staying behind and he thought that after finding him they could have sometime alone together to talk. He had determined long ago that he was pursuing a long term relationship but he wondered if Neville would accept to be his boyfriend? He seemed okay with advances on Thursday. He hadn't been doing too well on Friday and Harry had been busy with classes and prefect duty; Christmas was fast approaching. Anyways, Harry was worried. Neville seemed off. He had never seen anxiety attacks except for the episode with Neville and he hadn't heard of the aftereffects but he doubted it took so much time to get over them. When he had wanted to get Neville to go to the infirmary , together if they had to, he had been informed that he was already asleep. Well he wasn't going to wake him, sleep was always good when you were sick.

Deep in musings, he was walking towards the great hall. A cold breeze in the corridor surprised him out of his thoughts, and he looked to the arched doors where he saw a figure collapsed in the snow. Later on he would only recollect the gripping fear he felt when he knew, absolutely knew that it was Neville lying there. He practically flew down the stairs and knelt beside the body. Neville faced towards him, ashen in the white snow, lips dusted with blue. He felt his heart jump when he saw blood coming out of his nose, it had already made a small pool near his cheek, he whimpered.

"Nev, Neville!" , he called frantically. He felt his neck, the closest hand being tucked underneath the boy. The pulse was fast, way too fast and erratic, "Neville, come love, wake up. Nev!"no movement.

He didn't know if he should move him but...he made his decision and turned Neville around, swallowing hard when he found that the blood had seeped under his cheek staining his face and collar. He picked him up as well as he could and trying to not jolt him too much ran to the infirmary. Before they got to the door he thought he heard a moan and maybe he felt a movement, but already he was bursting in.

"Madame Pomfrey, Madame Pomfrey!", he bellowed.

"What is it, what is it, I have other patients who need…", but then she saw Harry lying a barely conscious Neville on a nearby cot. "Oh dear." she whisked a few potions and was at Harry's side in a blink. The curtains around the bed closing tight. Neville had finally come too. He seemed groggy but present.

"Neville," Harry passed a shaky hand on his cold face, "Neville look at me , can you here me?"

Neville blinked "Harry," he whispered, just that seemed to take the little strength he had. He closed his eyes for a bit, his face scrunching in pain and moaned miserable.

"What, what is it?" Harry asked frantically.

"..c. can't…" Neville choked out.

"Move over Harry", Pomfrey ordered.

Harry was reluctantly going to let go of Neville's hand when the sick man grasped it and shook his head. "..no stay?.." He asked. Harry looked at Pomfrey who was already reading the diagnostics of her wand scan.

"Fine fine", she said brusquely her attention on the charts "but stand on the other side."

He did so.

It wasn't long before the charts stopped typing their readings and by Pomfrey's expression they weren't good. "Merlin" she whispered. She turned around and brought her wand towards Neville's chest and then to her ear.

She stilled but for a minute.

"Finitie incantatum."

Her face was somber as she scurried to her shelves for a particular potion and a measuring cup.

"Harry arrange the pillows at the head of the bed and get Neville in a seated position, quickly."

Harry did so while she measured the dosage.

" Is it another anxiety attack?" He wanted to know.

Her piercing eyes met with Harry's "Hold his head, you might need to help him swallow."

He nodded and sat beside Neville and arm around his shoulder and holding his mouth open. They were able to get most of the potion in him although he choked a bit , when he couldn't inhale properly. It resulted in one of those twinges as he called them. His hand fistted on his chest he borrowed his face in Harry's neck, gasping for breath. Harry barely felt the tears rolling down his cheeks as he witnessed the pain his love was going through.

"That'll have to do for now. I have to speak to Severus." Pomfrey took a box from the nightstand that Harry hadn't seen her carry out and opened it, inside was a plain copper bracelet with three squares. She put it on Neville's wrist and sang an incantation while touching it with her wand. Instantly the bracelet closed around his arm quite snugly and one of the squares shone a steady orange.

"Harry if the red square is lit, summon us immediately."

Harry nodded rapidly, while he rubbed Neville's chest. Pomfrey seemed satisfied and was out of the room in a blink.

Harry looked back at the bracelet. It was still orange; Harry thought it meant critical but under control, red probably meant get help. He swallowed and looked at the crown of hair underneath his chin. The only sound around the wheezing gasps of Neville. Pomfrey had put a silencio spell to neither disturb the other patients nor Neville. Harry could feel the warm breath of Neville puffing rapidly on his collar bone and neck, now that he was out of the snow his body was burning up. He kept a hand on Neville's chest, when his heart skipped it seemed to sooth him when he rubbed.

He didn't quite understand the need for Severus in this matter except that he was in expert in potions and the dark arts and that scared him. Pomfrey hadn't contacted Neville's mediwizards or given him his usual medication...

"Neville", Harry whispered, "you have to hang on and get better. We've only just started to know each other and I .. I really like you. Stay with me okay Nev, love," he kissed the crown of hair, "don't leave me yet," he choked a sob, burying his face in Neville's hair when he felt a shaky squeeze of his hand.

~ooOoo~

Pomfrey made her absence short and soon the mediwitch was at their side again. She checked the bracelet that was still at a steady orange and put a hand on Neville's forehead. Snape appeared at her side with a potion vial.

Despite his put upon expression his dark eyes were strident and Harry knew the man was cataloging Neville's symptoms quite quickly.

"Mr. Longbottom, you will need to ingest the entirety of this vial. Kindly refrain from spilling any of it as it is quite costly and challenging to brew."

Neville stirred and Harry helped him lie back on his chest. He took a moment to lift a shaky hand towards the concoction thrust in his face but, Harry seeing Snape's obscuring expression took it instead. Soon Harry was helping Neville swallow. It took three tries before he could drink it all as he couldn't hold his gasping breath.

Snape snatched the empty bottle from Harry and pulled back as Madam Pomfrey ran her diagnostic over the young man.

Within minutes Neville's laborious breath slowed and soon Harry started feeling the full weight of the slacked and exhausted body. All three observed the orange square fade out, than the first shine blue briefly before the bracelet became completely dull.

Harry's eyes shone with gratitude and he fought not to gush out his thanks to Snape. Still it came out a tremulous whisper. Snape departed with a disgusted glare. Pomfrey fixed him with a stare warm with relief.

"Don't mind him Harry. You know he's all roar and no bite."

Harry's eyebrow rose at that thought. It was true that Snape was no Umbrigde but he still had the distinct feeling of scarring after his most grueling detentions and acerbic tongue lashing. Like acid they could be. Still he said nothing while he helped Pomfrey tuck Neville into bed. The later had fallen asleep as soon as the pain had gone.

Harry suddenly had the control the shakes running through his body with aftershock. His heart's desire still had gore all over his face and shirt. Harry was sure that some of the blood was on his own shirt too. He pointedly did not look down.

As Neville was properly tucked the mediwitch vanished his uniform to replace them with infirmary sterile pajamas.

"Madame Pomfrey, could I stay? I'll clean him up."

The mediwtch looked at the emotionally exhausted young man. His face was ashen, streaked with tears and his school uniform rumpled, shirt collar spattered with blood.

"You may stay for a while, but no more than thirty minutes. I'll go make the rounds, if there is anything call me."

He would have preferred staying the night but, he knew better than to argue. As Madam Pomfrey walked away Harry went to the small bathroom to gather a bowl of hot water and a fluffy face cloth. He put his supplies on Neville's nightstand and slumped into the hard wooden chair near the bed. He hesitated a bit but, just to reassure himself he softly pressed his hand to Neville's chest and breathed a sigh of relief when he felt the steady beat of his heart. His hand slowly traveled down to the rising and lowering belly which he caressed softly. Than he was slowly wiping the young man's face clean of blood.

When he walked back to Gryffindor tower he made use of his cardigan to hide the bloody patch on his shirt. Despite that his somewhat wooden stride and probably shocked expression alerted Hermione and therefore Ron right away that something was amiss. He wasn't surprised when they followed him to his private room.

"Harry, is everything okay?" Hermione tentatively asked as she approached the young man that facing away from her was taking his sweater off.

"Yeah, you don't look so good," Ron added "are you coming down with something?"

Harry just sat down on his bed and sighed, squeezing his hands between his legs. Hermione gasped at the sight of blood on his shirt.

"Harry!"

"Don't worry," he hastened to reassure, "it isn't mine."

"Who's is it" asked the red head, already his expression somber with thoughts of retribution to anyone who messed with his brunette friend.

"Neville's"

Ron's eyebrows disappeared in his hairline and Harry would have laughed any other time at the combined expressions of retribution and astonishment on his best friends face.

"You got in a fight with Neville!" Ron exclaimed incredulous.

"Not even close" and he told them what happened while they had been in Hogsmeade.

"Oh Harry!" and Hermione flung herself at him. He indulged for a brief moment and hugged back. He was immensely glad to have her support in this. He hadn't out right told her about his sexuality. After his intense attraction towards Ginny last year he wasn't sure they would understand his new found interest in the same sex, but trust Hermione to think in leaps and bounds. Ron however was another matter and his continued silence made him separate from Hermione swiftly.

"Ron."

"You have feelings for him."

"Yeah."

"What about Cho Chang, Ginny!"

"I had feelings for them too."

"Is that why you left Ginny?"

Harry swallowed thickly when he saw Ron's expression closing off.

"We were never together really. I didn't pursue her Ron, you know that."

"Well good thing you haven't too!" Ron was bursting at the seams. " I… you."

And Harry's heart broke when he witnessed the expressions of anxiety, awkwardness and for the first time, fear bordering on revulsion.

"I've got too, I've…I'm sorry Harry." And Ron fled the room.

For a moment Harry thought he would need to visit the infirmary himself and he rubbed his chest, his face blank with shock and pain. Hermione was looking after the closed door mortified and she pulled Harry in a one armed hug.

Harry didn't sleep much that night between Neville and Ron he didn't know where to turn. More so, he'd belatedly realized that he hadn't asked Pomfrey what was ailing Neville, thus on top of everything worry was gnawing at his nerves.

* * *

Early Sunday found him walking towards the infirmary with a determined stride. But before he'd left Gryffindor tower Hermione had rejoined him taking a firm grasp of his arm.

"Hermione?"

"I'm going with you. You'll need the support."

Her soft smile warmed his heart like ten sunshines.

"What would I do without you?"

"If I have my way, you'll never know." And she winked.

Thus it was with a somewhat higher spirit that they reached Neville's bedside and Harry was even happier when he saw healthy color in his love's cheeks. He gently caressed one with the back of his hand. At that point Madam Pomfrey joined them, surprised of their early visit.

"He's had an uneventful night Harry. He will sleep for a couple hours more. Why don't you go to breakfast and come back when your finished, by that time he should be ready to wake up." She insisted gently. Well aware of the heartache and obstacles the young man ahd been facing since birth she was saddened that even during an event such as love that should bring joy, peace and happiness, their was to be worry and heartache.

Harry didn't fuss and followed Hermione's insistent tugs.

"Pomfrey is right. To help Neville you need to be in top shape and for that you need to eat. We'll come back after breakfast and then we'll be a ble to ask for the diagnostic as well."

Harry swallowed and gave her the grimace of a smile. She squeezed his arm in reassurance.

They both walked into the Main Hall with a some trepidation. Ron would be there and…Harry felt anger rise in his breast. Why was it that he should be the one to grovel, the one to suffer, the one to feel he had erred? Always he and Hermione had to cater to Ron, to his ensibilities and limits. Again the boy diserted him at a moment he most needed help. Why couldn't Ron trust him , accept him for who he was? He was fed up of living up to the image of Harry Potter painted by the tabloid. An image that saddly he had come to realize, Ron believed in much.

However, as his eyes shifted to the table where the redhead was conversing with Dean and two other boys in sixth year, not once looking Harry's and by association ostracizing Hermione also. Harry felt his heart seize at the intensity of his regret. The anger bled away. He averted his gaze swiftly. He would not be the one to hold out his hand this time but, if Ron decided to get over himself he would swipe everything under the rug. He felt he owed it to their friendship.

Hermione and he found a seat at the end of the table, near the teacher's pedestal. As he was loading his plate with bacon and Hermione, oatmeal, Ginny came to sit with them accompanied by a girl of her year, Paloma Novak.

"Hey guys."

"Hello Ginny."

Harry nodded his salute.

"What's Ron doing over there?"

"Oh you know how he is," Hermione hesitated before continuing and looked towards Harry wondering how much he wanted to divulge.

"He's being a pratt." Harry answered without infliction and shoved potatoes and a good bit of eggs into his mouth.

Ginny winced at the action, "That bad, huh?"

Hermione looked towards Paloma and Ginny before sliding her eyes to Harry, "I know you've asked me for some book titles for your research in arithmancy. We could meet at the library after lunch? Harry you wouldn't mind if I shared my attention between you and Ginny? I'll still help you with that transfig paper."

Ginny's eyes shone and Harry shrugged. He figured he wouldn't mind telling Ginny, she was trustworthy and knew how to keep a secret. Thought she would probably talk about it to her family and he wasn't sure he could face potentiel rejection of the Weasley clan at this moment. He considered them the only family he had and it would kill him if they didn't approve of him.

"Maybe, Mione. I'll see if I can come."

Ginny looked at Harry peculiarly but, she conceded.

"I'll be there."

After breakfast both Harry and Hermione visited the infirmary. Neville was beginning to wake up as Pomfrey had guessed. Harry sat on the bedside side and took Neville's hand in his.

It wasn't so much pain but, a heaviness in his chest that refrained Neville from moving more than his eyelids. He sighed softly as his eyes opened and the concerned face of Harry greeted him.

"Neville, how are you feeling?"

Memories of the night before crashed into him, with the lethargy weighting his limbs, he could only sigh once more to express the turmoil going through his head.

He was in the infirmary…he'd been sick, Harry…Harry had carried him to the Madame Pomfrey. What the hell had happened? He'd never felt like that before, that crushing all consuming fire in his breast, drowning in his onw body. He'd thought he would die that night.

Looking around, he finally realized that one, Harry was holding his hand (he could barely feel it through the numbness) and two, that Hermione was sitting on a chair by his bed. He licked his dry lips.

"Harry?" he inquired frowning.

He felt the brunette squeeze his hand reassuringly.

"Yeah, how're you feeling Nev?"

Madame Pomfrey bustled in with a breakfast tray that she put on the nightstand and whipped out her wand with purpose.

"Disoriented I would think." She fixed Neville with a concern but stern look, "You gave us quite a scare last night young man. Let's see how you're doing this morning."

The reading was quite short and the mediwitch did not let out if it was good or bad by her expression. She swiftly tucked her wand in her apron and walked to the other side of the bed.

"Harry, dear would you help me sit him up."

It was but the work of a couple of minutes, the fluffing of pillows and the tucking of bedspread. Yet, Neville came out of it flushed and exhausted. In his worry Harry reached out to stroke the blonde's sweaty hair out of his hot face, taking a minute to caress his soft cheek. He forgot that awake, Neville might not accept such liberty yet. After all, they were just beginning to address their attraction for each other, they hadn't even gone out on a date yet. Nevertheless, Neville didn't seem to mind as he was concentrating on calming himself.

"Give yourself a moment," Pomfrey added gently patting his covered foot. "You'll eat breakfast and than we'll discuss you're diagnosis. I've called Augusta, and she'll be here shortly."

She sent a fortifying gaze to Harry and she went off to check her other temporary patients.

* * *

to be continued


	3. Chapter 3

Author: Fugu

Archive: ask before

Warning: gore, I haven't read further than a third of _Half Blood Prince_ so it's pretty much AU, major OOC, **major** sap, angst and oh yes, pretty plot less

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: purely for entertainment purposes, own no copyright.

Title: House of cards

Pairing: obviously most incredibly sappy Harry Potter/ Neville Longbottom. Other pairings as I go.

Notes: So I'm Quebecer thus my mother tongue is french and I cannot write British nor American English. All that to say that the Potter people will be speaking Canadian English. ***shrug ***

If you have read my other fics, you know that I just write for the sake of Sap and hurt/comfort; you know that I don't start arcs chronologically either. More so, I'm not a prolific writer, but I need to finish what I start. I hope that publishing will help me finish this story in the next three years? This is a work in progress, meaning that at anytime I might go back to rewrite and polish this fic as I add chapters. _**If any of these things are peeves, then you shouldn't be reading this story**_. Cheers ^_^

 **House of Cards**

chapter 3

* * *

Augusta Longbottom was a no-nonsense women. People might have found her harsh, she was just efficient. This world had a heap load of sorrow and misery to send your way, best to be vigilant and prepared to deal. If it was only she, she'd have caved already, maybe not, it wasn't in her nature to surrender, but at least she could contemplate the possibility. However, she had people counting on her. First had been her Frank after the death of her dear husband and now the center of her world was Neville. She'd be damned if she didn't leave the boy ready to pummel life right back in the arena.

She'd gotten the call from Saint-Mungo two weeks ago. Frank and Alice had finally let go. It had been swift, she hadn't had time to reach the hospital before they were gone. They said that in the last minutes lucidity had come to them. They'd pronounced one name: Neville.

Despite the fact that both she and Neville had secretly hoped for that end to come -what a horrible wish from a mother and she was sure to bury that devil of a sentiment with all the others brimming in the closet of her consciousness- she still found the death highly suspicious. Their mind was gone that was a given but their health, although deteriorating had not been so pour to warrant such a swift demise, and synchronized to booth. Now the most romantic of the lot would say that it was the deep connection that Frank and Alice shared that pulled them away together. She scoffed as she climbed the stairs to Dumbledore's , no Snape's office now. She'd ordered and autopsy and again her shrewdness would help them prepare for the ordeal to come. She had lost much, she had lost too much. She would be damned to the seven Hells before they took Neville form her.

At the top of the stairs, the sour puss was waiting for her, his eyes hooded but intrigued, thank Merlin for small graces.

"Augusta" he motioned for a seat in the small salon. He wasn't going to discuss this from the other side of his desk. Just like he had not subjected her to the indignity of uttering a password at the bottom of the stairs, the gargoyle silently jumping aside as he saw her arrive.

"Severus" she inclined her head and went to take a seat.

"Minerva and Poppy will be with us shortly, I am afraid I have alarming news concerning Mr. Longbotton" he droned as he sat on a chair next to hers. Tea was already on the coffee table and he inclined his head towards the service, she declined.

She pursed her lips worry gripping her breasts, "What is wrong. Tell me now Severus."

"He is not in immediate danger."

Her already pale face grew ashen. She knew what the autopsy had gleaned but it was vague and she'd thought they would have more time. Neville had already suffered. She was sure of it or else Poppy would not have been involved.

"I want to see him. Bring me to him Severus" she meant to rise when in came Minerva followed by Poppy.

Eyes sharp she watched as they walked over, Minerva was unreadable, always the best candidate for a stiff upper lip but Poppy's face held nervousness, pity, worry. She didn't give them time to be seated. She rose swiftly for her age.

" I want to see my grand-child now."she said sharply.

"Mrs. Longbottom..." started Snape.

"Their is a curse," she interrupted and it shut him up swiftly as he zeroed a narrowed gaze to her. She continued undaunted " There is a curse running rampant in my grandson's blood." She took a deep breath "Alice and Frank are gone. Two weeks, two weeks ago" her voice stuttered with rare weakness "they drew their last breath. I ordered an autopsy. There was trace of a curse, arithmancy in their Last Aura, dark, very dark, they could not say if it was what killed them or was triggered by their death. They could not identify it either." She looked at the grim faces around her. "When Severus called I added up what there was. You tell me if my intuition is wrong" she finished her chin up defiantly.

Snape's teeth ground and then he let loose a fowl expletive. He had wondered how a boy such as Neville, with Neville's experiences could come about such symptoms. He would not be surprised if one of his Slytherins had suffered Neville ailments or Potter, even Weasley or Granger since they were always in the Boy Who Lived' s skirt folds.

Who the boy had angered, which dark wizard had he frequented to get such a parting gift? But of course it was all their favorite pain in the ass Voldemort, the dark wizard in everyone's closet that had touched him. Dammit. He swore again.

"Severus!" Poppy exclaimed at the foul language, even Minerva raked his throat embarrassed. But he wasn't remotely sorry. They didn't know, if he was an ounce correct in his assumption...dammit.

He looked at the boy's grandmother, at her squeezed lips and fought the undignified emotion of pity.

* * *

Neville was wondering when he'd be released. He felt exhausted sure, but no more then he'd been feeling for the last two weeks and he really felt good enough to leave the infirmary. Madame Pomfrey refused to confirm that the attack he had had only been anxiety. And that kind of worried him. What else could it be? He knew his grandmother was to come, and he hoped to be able to see her in Snape's office, not in bed. He didn't want to worry her. He sighed and stroked the callused tanned hand in his. His hands were callused too by horticulture work but his bone structure was more fine. The hand in his had thick stubby fingers, short nails, veins on the back and led to a thick veined forearm. The skin was rugged where his seemed soft and pale and effeminate. He scowled, he wasn't a woman. He watch the hand squeeze his and looked up to an inquiring emerald gaze behind rectangle metal rims.

"My hand looks like a girl's hand in yours"

"Uhh"

"Why are your hands more manly than mine?"

"What?", Harry chuckled. He looked at their hands together "my hands aren't more manly and I like yours just fine" he grinned. Where had that come from?

Neville pondered, "okay"

Harry opened his mouth to ask where this was coming from when Snape, followed by Mrs Longbottom, McGonagall and Pomfrey walked in.

"Grandson."

Before Augusta could continue on her thought, Snape interjected.

"Potter," he spat "there are matters to be discussed that do not pertain to you, as surprising as it my be" he added snidely "I know it is almost impossible for you not to put your nose in other people's business but in this instance you will follow the rules."

"Severus." Poppy reprimanded softly.

As Snape spoke Harry's face became thunderous and he opened his mouth to give the man a piece of his mind.

"Harry..." and was stopped by Neville's soft voice. He looked at the tired face. "Harry..." he licked dry lips and continued hesitantly "Harry, I'd prefer if you'd leave, please?"

Harry felt his heart drop as Neville averted his gaze. Maybe he'd taken too many liberties? He dropped the sick man's hand. He'd been to insistent. He profited from Neville's vulnerability and helplessness to impose on him? Still, he'd been so worried, his sentiments had been genuine, but maybe they were moving, HE was moving too fast and pushing Neville in a corner?

He managed a smile and couldn't stop one last stroke of the pale hand. "Sure. No worries." He stood up and calmly greeted the professors goodbye. Still before the infirmary's doors closed behind him Neville called.

"You'll come by later?"

And Harry felt like the sun had come out from behind the clouds. He got a grip on his joy and managed to look back with a smile and not a face splitting beam at his heart's desire.

"Sure, see you later."

Neville relaxed when Harry left. He'd been afraid he'd hurt the young man with his shyness. If he was honest with himself, he'd prefer to have Harry with him only to not be alone facing what he believed to be foreboding news when he looked at the grim faces surrounding him. Yet, he couldn't lean on Harry so much. Already, he'd been witness to his "damsel in distress" routine, twice! And they weren't that close, they weren't even friends...sure Harry had been oddly in his face the last weeks but it was for Qudditch and yes he'd been pretty familiar with his affection, but he was a really nice and compassionate guy. Neville admits to himself that he didn't really push him away and to the contrary, indulged in the attention; but fantasies stopped being harmless when Real Life decided to rear it's ugly head. He had to pay attention and prepare a stiff upper lip as his Gran had trained him. He braced himself for what he felt was going to be very bad news.

* * *

Harry wasn't exempt from classes and it was a long afternoon where he isolated himself from the school body. Only the knowledge that Neville had actively asked him to come by ( the first time Neville had actually reached out) kept him from bolting to the infirmary, propriety be damned! He took supper in his room after visiting the kitchens, he had no patience for his boisterous friends with the worry gnawing at his nerves and he didn't feel like explaining to Hermione why he hadn't met her in the library.

Footsteps in the stairs alerted him that the first students were already coming back from supper. He hastily wrapped the last of his sandwich to finish en route to the infirmary. He wanted to avoid year mates and leave the House without too much notice. He took his Invisibility cloak and vanished the rest of his tray before opening his door swiftly to find Neville lifting his weary eyes in surprise. Harry immediately saw that he was distressed, hand to his chest, his breath labored and tears streaming down his face.

He was at his side in a blink. "Neville!" he looped an arm around his waist and Neville leaned against him instead of the railing.

"They let you out too early! We're going back to the Infermary."

Neville pushed against him shaking his head but the sobs could not be held back, he seemed not to be able to speak. He borrowed his face in Harry's collar bone, clinging for dear life.

"Neville?"

"n no. No" He gasped, he swallowed and tried to gasp "need to sit down, please"

Harry pulled him swiftly into his room and sat him on his bed. Neville shuddered trying to rein in his sarrow, the way his heart was breaking was a whole different sensation than the sickness he now knew would steal his life.

Harry called for a glass of water and dipped a conjured handkerchief in it. He proceeded to softly wipe the blonde's pale face and neck.

He offered the cool glass "Have some."

Neville shakily took it and gulped half the glass before Harry reached out to pull it away from his lips "Slowly! You'll choke."

The blonde covered his face with his hands and bit down hard to try to reign in the grief, the moans that wanted to rip out of his throat. God, he couldn't understand how it hurt _so much_ when he'd barely known them at all but for the catatonic corpses they had been. He still had Gran. He had Gran and she was enough, she always had been enough even when he wished for a mother and a father. Even when he wished for the picture perfect family and luminous white picket fence home. He had to get a grip. The emotional pain was swiftly becoming physical again and he didn't want to pull the swooning heroine stunt again. Even lost in turmoil as he was, he could feel Harry panicking and the young man didn't deserve all the stress Neville was giving him.

Neville pulled his hands away and rubbed at his face while he forced himself to breath slowly through the burning pressure of his tripping heart. Snape had given him his first treatment which hurt like a mother and he needed to stay calm to help it work faster. What a load of bull that was after the news he got. Severus Snape was one unfeeling SOB. Neville let out a strangled laugh at his thoughts and felt the arms around him tighten. He looked up at Harry's worried face. The man deserved some explanation.

Neville weakly rubbed his forehead, "My parents are dead."

He felt the body beside him stiffen. Shit, way to go Neville, just drop the bomb on the poor guy.

"Oh God, Neville. I'm so sorry."

Neville shook his head, "They were getting there anyways." Merlin's balls, anyways. They'd all heard about it in the halls when he ripped Draco a new one. Frankly, now that he knew how this was going to end for him, he didn't give a rats's ass if people thought he was loopy. Being sane was overrated anyhow. "They suffered endless Crucios by the hand of Death Eaters." he took a breath trying to get the room to focus. "It took their mind, crazy as brooms they were and after close to twenty years in the psych wards of St-Mungos they died." He chuckled darkly, "I don't know why it's hitting me so hard, I didn't know them, they didn't know me." God he needed for his heart to stop lurching like that. He checked the bracelet and it was orange, fuck! He didn't want to be more of a bother but he needed to NOT pass out.

He looked up at Harry and his blurry vision made it seem like he was crying. Neville took the towel soaking the bed and wiped his face and eyes some more.

"I'm sorry, I, I need to lie down. Can I just for a few minutes than I'll be out of your hair?"

"Don't be daft," Harry croaked low. Neville looked at him as Harry helped him stand just so they could take the two steps to the head of the bed, and he saw that Harry's eyes were red rimmed. He choked on a flutter when he realized that Harry had actually been crying with him. Fuck, way to hurt the one you loved.

"Sorry", Neville moaned as he lay back on the bunched up pillows Harry pushed behind him.

"Shut up, Neville."

Neville closed his eyes to calm himself down, but the dark was pulling all his attention to the pain so he opted for looking at the canopy up ahead. He felt a hand on his cheek and looked at Harry knelt beside him, worry darkening his eyes to forest green or was it the darkness of the bed far from the candle lights? Neville needed to reassure him. He should have gone home with Gran. He was stubborn. He wanted to finish his school year. He wanted to die with at least having accomplished something but, really what was glamorous about finishing his Hogwarts schooling? Still, Neville was going to tough it out to the last minute of seventh year and OWLS before he keeled. Damn, fuck it, to be honest, he was staying and being a burden because he wanted to see Harry for as long as he could before he kicked the bucket.

While he had his second little freak out Harry had found the bracelet still around his wrist with the orange and green squares both lit. Hi face became dark.

"You still have that monitor on. Why?" He asked harshly.

Neville swallowed and looked at the desk tucked against a corner of the far wall.

"Turns out that the anxiety disorder wasn't a pain in the ass enough. I've contracted another disease, not contagious"His lips thinned, "It's... the monitor helps me manage, is all."

Briefly, Harry wondered again how Neville was comfortable with muggle medicine and muggle terms. Neville wasn't expressing himself like a wizard at all and if his memories were true, it wasn't the case in the past. Harry's hand squeezed painfully, "What is it." Harry croaked. Neville looked around and cringed at making the Boy Who Lived freak out. " Is it your heart?"

Neville searched Harry's face as the pressure in his chest gradually lessened. What could he say, what could he reveal? Harry was trust worthy, he knew but had already a lot on his plate with Voldermort without worrying about a sick friend. On the other hand once he knew Neville couldn't help him with the Quidditch team, he'd leave him alone. And well, it would hurt but at the same time Neville could cherish those few weeks on his dying bed and still look at Harry from afar the rest of the year...fuck he was so morbid. Maybe it was because of herbology, but being attuned to nature, he had always accepted the cycle of life and death, maybe that's why he was finally calming down when thinking about his close expiry date. He rather go than be left alone. It wasn't fair to Gran but deep down he was a selfish SOB.

He shrugged "Yeah my heart is affected, as well as other organs. It's a blood disease."

He fell silent, but Harry was having none of it, it seems, and turned his face towards him. "and?" He prompted frowning. "how do you treat it? What's its name? Will you recover?" His face froze suddenly in a painful grimace "It's not, it's not fatal is it?" he chocked out.

Neville was surprised at how fast and smoothly he could lie "Of course not," he frowned to keep his eyes from popping out as he was want to do when he was nervous and he concentrated on tightening his jaw against the tremor that wanted to make him stutter "It's..." his heart lurched hard and stumbled a couple of seconds . Breath, Neville, breath, fuck. "I can't remember the name at the moment" he lied "obscure disease linked to the Longbottom family" Ha! You could say that again. "It can't be cured but it's manageable" True enough for the time being.

Harry searched Neville's face and he closed his eyes, he couldn't look Harry in the eye for long. He felt the hand on his cheek slide down his neck and stroke the sweaty skin for a while before resting on his chest to the left. "You're heart's racing." Harry complained as he started to rub over the jumping organ, trying to calm it down.

"Yeah, it's a symptom, as well as stomach and back pain, shortness of breath, dizziness, overall weakness actually. Not discomforts I'm unfamiliar with come to think of it." His body felt so heavy and his teeth felt like cotton, shit. He didn't want to pass out. Damn, he was lying down why wasn't it getting better already? He brought a shaky hand to his pounding head. "Hey, I've been lying down for how long now?" he whispered.

Harry brought his hand down and replaced it with a cool clothe and Neville fought to not groan in relief.

"About five minutes?"

"Huh, 'kay."

"Is it too long? Should I call Madame Pomfrey?" Harry worried.

"No," Neville swallowed, "s'fine. If it takes more than twenty I can get to the infirmary. Professor Snape give me the first treatment. 's just taking some time...guess." Neville couldn't quite muster the energy needed to talk anymore.

"Well, the indicator is green. The monitor hasn't shut down but it's green." Harry reassured while he held his hand in one hand and rubbed his chest with the other.

"Hmm."

They lapsed into silence.

" You're staying here tonight." Harry said a couple minutes later.

"Wh.."

"No. No buts, no protest. You're staying here where I can keep and eye on you. Anyways, I don't want you to climb the stairs to your dorm the way you're feeling."

Sharing a bed with Harry Potter! Holy! He'd never even gone that far with his fantasies and he couldn't even muster panic let alone enthusiasm he was so freaking tired right now. He could be sleeping next to Bellatrix Lestrange at the moment he wouldn't bat and eye, fuck his life.

"Sorry." At least he could muster the energy to apologize at taking up the guy's bed. He opened his eyes and was happy to realize that his vision was clear and the colors dim again, the stars had disappeared from his view.

"Shhh." Harry bent and kissed his forehead. Neville sighed and fantasized it was a gesture meaning more than just generous compassion. Harry was the type of guy that craved touch and was pretty grabby with friends. He'd seen him bestow that same kiss on Ron and Hermione and a number of other close friends. Neville was happy to be considered a close friend. Even though he was in the front lines of the war, he'd never felt as close to Harry as he did now.

"Don't move. I'm just going to change you into sleep clothes and pull the covers over you." Harry did it so seamlessly that he barley felt the bed move nor the cool air touch his skin between garments. Still, the tingle of wandless magic on his body seized his spine and sent his heart into horrid leaps that made it beat in his throat. He could help release a whimper at his sore chest.

"Neville?" Harry asked both hands holding his face. Neville opened his eyes which he hadn't realized he had shut. " s'fine, it kind of tripped again. Fine" he clumsily pat the hand on his right cheek.

Harry's eyes left his face to look at the monitor and by his expression Neville deduced it was still in acceptable range.

"I'm going to go get ready for the night and I have a little homework to finish." Harry eventually said. "Just rest"

Neville felt the dry lips on his forehead again before the bed dipped slightly and Harry disappeared into the bathroom. It wasn't two minutes before his brain shut down and he fell into and exhausted sleep. 

* * *

He'd had to escape before he broke and let Neville see.

Harry walked to the sink and just grabbed it and stood there breathing. He was afraid, he was so fucking scared. He hadn't known how deep he'd fallen until now. Until he could feel the absolute panic crawl up his throat at the unfathomable idea of a world without Neville. Of Neville leaving him behind. He couldn't, he couldn't accept that and he bit hard on the knuckles he pushed his mouth to silence his moan. Hastily, wandlessly, he erected a silencing charm as the sobs erupted, burned out of his chest. So soon after Dumbledore, despite his lies, his death had been a devastating blow. He couldn't, he just couldn't. The disappearance of Remus and Ron giving him the cold shoulder, and Sirius, Oh God Sirius...and now this? Couldn't he have one thing, just one thing nice and intact that was his. Couldn't he get a break?

He wouldn't survive it if Neville left him. He gritted his teeth, get grip! Neville'd said it wasn't fatal, he wasn't going anywhere, not if Harry had anything to say about it and he had plenty to say. Harry took a couple of deep breaths and got the water running for a shower. Something in the back of his mind was nudging at the fact that Voldermort was involved, but it must be paranoia talking. He had a tendency of blaming the snake bastard for all the bad in his life. Thought, come to think of it, he was to blame for all the bad in his life. Fuck. Harry shook his head as he divested and walked under the steaming water. He turned his face towards the warmth and popped his neck to let the tension drain away from his body. No, what he had to concentrate on, he decided as he soaped his hair, was how to help Neville manage this disease. Whatever it was, and by the way, he was going to get a name, a list of symptoms and treatments. He wasn't letting this new development to fate and good luck, he wasn't going to accept vagueness anymore. He'd had his lesson with Dumbledore. When he was feeling better Neville was going to explain clearly and in detail, so they could manage this together. Alright, let's face it, it was for Harry's selfish peace of mind. Speaking of, he took his wand from the side of the tub and sent a monitoring charm on his bed. He couldn't well hear if Neville needed help under the shower, he also lifted the silencing charm.

Ten minutes later Harry was in sleepwear sitting next to Neville with a couple of books around him. He couldn't stand siting at his desk with the bed at his back. He conceded that he couldn't concentrate well in his readings, having read three pages in twenty minutes but it was better than nothing. He jut needed to touch and make sure Neville was okay. The bracelet was blinking green. He guessed Neville was close to good and he wasn't as pale as before. His breathing was deep and slow. Harry slid a thumb at the pulse of his throat. It was slow and getting steady. He slid his hand to his love's chest and rubbed absentmindedly. Neville sighed and turned his face towards Harry. The young man smiled and went back to his school work. 

~oo0oo~

Neville woke up and there was an arm around his stomach and a face, he realized, pressed to his neck stopping him from turning towards, well Harry. Right, he'd slept with Harry, in Harry' s bed...okay. And he was coming to realize that he was a serious cuddler. He closed his eyes and breathed in slowly trying to wake up more and his face cracked in a yawn as he rose one arm over his head to stretch. When he froze and let himself gently fall back to the bed with a gasped. Shit, what the hell? He couldn't even stretch without his heart protesting and now his stomach was seizing. He grabbed low over the kidney and swallowed as nausea reared its ugly head. Oh god. He moaned in his head and maybe out loud too because the face that was snuffling his neck prickling it with five o'clock shadow pulled away with the arm around his middle.

"Neville" Harry asked roughly and Neville shot him a glance as he swallowed thickly the saliva pooling in his mouth. Also, by the way, how come his eyes were bigger without the glasses? Wasn't it the other way around?

"I think" Neville swallowed again more urgently " no...sure, gonna be sick!"

Hastily, he turned to the side of the bed and heaved. It was a minute or two but it felt like twenty especially the dry heaving at the end while his stomach burned with hard knots of pain. When there didn't seem to be anymore coming out and his gag reflex had subsided, he shakily helped Harry pull him back to the bed. He couldn't really roll on his back and anyways, he rather wanted to curl over his burning middle. Harry left him on his side and vanished the sick on the floor and in his mouth. His head contested that last bit with a pounding headache. He gripped his middle and moaned some more. Oh damn, he felt like he was going to shit himself. Oh god spare him this humiliation. There were things friends just couldn't share and the runs was one of them.

"Harry," He moaned.

"Yes love." He felt the young man rubbing his back and his hair a bit frantically, yeah he could understand that. What a way to wake up.

"I need professor Snape. Call professor Snape." he urged as nausea rose again. _Oh man, I can't hold it in, oh fuck_. He was going to poop all over Hary's bed, he just knew it. Within the next minute thought there was a rough hand pushing at his kidneys and he almost cried out before the knots swiftly unraveled. Too late though, since he could feel slimy wetness on his backend. His face went from grey to red in two point five seconds as Professor Snape pulled back the covers and his pants with them. He cried out.

"Do cease the melodrama Mister Longbottom. I haven't got all day to cater to your sensibilities." He felt hands spread his but cheeks open, oh Merlin Kill him now! " Mister Potter, wipe that expression of your face. I'd rather think you do not expel sweet scenting cinnamon buns when you need to defecate. Kindly spare me the hysterics." Oh sweet Mother of God.

Neville tried to kill himself with pillow suffocation. Snape vanished the crap as he drilled Potter about the color and consistency of his sick. Uh. He tried to listen in to gauge the degree of revolt that was in the bespectacled young man's voice but his mortification was making him half deaf, or was it his racing heart trying to push through his ribs again?

"Longbottom, I will need to administer your treatment swiftly. As we don't all have the luxury to pick up space in bed during school day," Snape drawled.

"Kay."

Neville started pulling his legs towards the edge of the bed to stand up and hopefully leave Harry's room with minimum fuss. No way was he going to subject Harry to more gross. Harry wasn't his nurse, nor his family, he had imposed enough, too much already.

He knees were stopped by a wide hand. "Stay here Nev. He can rest in my room for the day. It'll be more peaceful than in the dorms"

Before he could protest his top was pulled up and a freezing solution rubbed to the base of his spine. He jumped.

"Hold him." he heard Snape say. Oh shit, and before he could brace himself the needle was pushed in. He tried to cry out but his breath was stolen away by the pain. He shook, clenching the pillows and wanting to crawl away. Distantly, he heard Harry cry out and Snape demand he hold Neville down lest the fool (him looked like) move and Snape bruise his spinal cord.

Swiftly, he came too, he hadn't realized he'd passed out, gasping hard. He gradually felt hands shakily holding a cool cloth to the small of his back and Snape was nowhere to be seen. Fuuuck.

He pushed his face away from the pillow trying to get more air and felt Harry move around his body. He ended up kneeling on the floor his face close to Neville's while still holding the damp cloth with the numbing solution to his back. He didn't seem to bothered by Neville's hard breathing in his face, at least the mouthwash charm had been good for morning breath.

Neville blinked watery eyes and looked and the fairly gray skinned Harry Potter.

He needed a couple of tries, but he got enough breath to throw a rough "sorry" to the man.

Harry's lips became a thin line. " Is that what manageable means? " he asked angrily.

Shit. Here we go, the grand rejection. If only he could let Neville down gently. At the moment the blonde wasn't sure if his heart could stand much more and he really didn't want to keel over with a heart attack on Harry's bed. The man had had enough. Would this morning never end?

He didn't have the breath but he forced himself none the less, "at firssh...first, n, not lat, later..." he slurred.

"Fuck! Don't talk." Harry exclaimed. He searched his face, the frown still firm, before he stood up. Neville felt the cloth leave his back. Harry pulled his top down and pulled the covers snug over his shoulders, before he came back into Neville's line of sight. His hand stroked Neville's cheek and the strong forearm inadvertently brushed Neville's lips. Harry pulled Neville's arm from under the covers and his face turned out down right thunderous when he saw that the red and orange icons were both lit.

"S'no worry, normal." Neville gasped as he rode the pain.

Harry grunted and squeezed his hand. "When you feel better, we will sit down, with Hermione," he added as an after thought "and you will tell us, in great details, of this disease, it's name, symptoms and treatments." He shot Neville and unwavering stare "It is a lot more serious that you let it sound last night." He gently shook Neville's hand.

Neville who wasn't gasping out like a floundering fish anymore blinked owlishly at Harry. He'd barfed, he'd shat on the man's bed, oh god, Harry'd seen the barbaric contraption sinking into his spine and he still wanted him around? What? Huh?

"Wha..." Neville brilliantly answered.

Harry kissed his forehead, "I'll get ready while you get your breath back. Snape said you should feel better in about half an hour. I'll eat breakfast here to keep you company, alright?"

"Hmm" _what_...?

As Harry got ready Neville dosed, the treatment made him groggy but he woke up to Harry petting his hair around his face.

"Love, you awake?"

He grunted an affirmative.

Harry smiled. "Severus said that you won't be able use magic much and to minimize it's use around you?" He quirked an eyebrow. Yeah, he'd have to explain that to Harry. "Dobby has a bell charmed to that pulley." He motioned towards the thick cord near the headboard."Pull if you need anything. He'll wait for your call for meals but after ten minutes he'll come bring you food anyways alright? So if you need to sleep, just sleep okay love?"

Neville brought a weak hand to the one resting on his neck.

A kiss to the cheek this time "I'll be back to see you at lunch" was Harry's parting whisper.

To say he didn't want to leave Neville was moot. Still, Harry knew that being frantic wasn't gong to help him or Neville at all. He needed to be calm for both their sake. He needed to not obsess like he was prone to do. After Sirius and Albus he'd learned that he needed to get his facts straight and not presume anything. Thought it was fucking hard not to follow just his intuition, but what was intuition and what was Voldermort playing with his mind? He couldn't be sure anymore.

* * *

Seventh year and he was still in Diviniation. But he'd heard in passing from Ron that Neville would also continue in this class because of some other such link between plants, divination and astronomy. Whatever, but fuck him, if Neville was there than he was there. So now first class after the hell that his morning had been, he was ensconced in nausiating patchouli fumes being miserably devinated at and being subjected to Ron's holier than thou judgmental stares. God, whyyyy?

So yeah, Professor Trelawney wasn't total fraud, Just partially. And the 'not total' manifested itself again before class ended. Of course it did.

She'd been assigning school homework and well Harry was actually paying great attention for this class and would for all the others Neville couldn't attend. Whatever, Neville thought it was important, so it was important and Harry would take all the info his heart's desire needed to succeed his academics and what not. So yeah, he was dutifully transcribing the actually quite extensive mid-term assignment question that would necessitate a trip to a shaman's workshop, at least if any of them wanted to pass with higher marks than A, damn, when Trelawney's voice turned rough, her eyes, well cloudier and her body became stiff. _Shit, here we go, t_ hought Harry.

 _"He comes from the lost,_

 _Soulless he is,_

 _the hope of time is his._

 _Death hath no master,_

 _but death doth he nurture,_

 _The knots of time clear secrets,_

 _to find the wyrm of circuits._

 _The tale of old foretold,_

 _the hope of time he holds,_

 _to find the wyrm of secrets,_

 _the knots of time a circuit._

 _He come from the lost,_

 _Soulles he is,_

 _the hope of time is his._ "

Riiight. Circuits...well as vague and foggy as for the par. Harry thought as he ground his teeth ad tried to breath through his nose as the whole class stared at him with varying degrees of horror and morbid curiosity. You know, it could, oh my God hold the press, not be about him this time...maybe, fuck who was he kidding. Now after that Grim shit. Harry thought he'd keep this to himself but then again he was in class with like fifteen students. Who was he kidding, and he mentally slapped himself, _Harry you need to have all your facts straight_ , right. He had to report to Snape and solicit Hermione's help and Luna, now that was a thought, to decipher what the clueless twat had just spat. After repeating the ominous rhymes two more times she blinked and continued without any knowledge of her gifts. Just before he left class ,behind the shuffling mass, Harry saw worry passing through Ron's dark frown. Maybe, probably wishful thinking?

Followed by Potions because having it as the last class of the day wasn't gruesome enough, going to the dungeons of hell while the sun was shining and birds were signing high in the trees did a man's heart good. After having double Potions, because yeah he had to want to be an Auror, fuck him. He'd also dutifully recited the , dare he say it, prophecy to Headmaster Snape and then fled to lunch.

On his way to the dorms, Harry crossed Luna in flip flops, a starry gaze and were those _Sharpie_ "tattoos" on her arms? Upon closer inspection, yeah they seamed the magical equivalent of marker scribbling on her flesh that were of course moving. Yeah, Harry could still be impressed by the absurdity of magic.

"Did you do this to yourself?" he asked, lest it was another instance of bullying.

"Yes , of course," Luna looked at him curiously, "the furnwaggles manifest good fortune to the ones that spread good will." she said with no nonsense.

Harry nodded , _Fair enough._

"I'm going up to my room, Neville's scatting there," yeah he might have had thought twice before running his mouth, shit. First off, he didn't want to podcast his desires to the whole school and Nevile was fragile. Also he maybe didn't want everybody to know he was shitting blood. Fuck, way to go Harry.

But Luna, bless her, didn't react to Harry's wide eyed stutter and actually nodded like 'of course Neville is sleeping in your bed Harry', par to the norm. Harry closed his eyes and sighed "Wanna come say hi? I'm going to eat with him up in my room."

Luna fell in step with him.

When they arrived, Dobby was putting a tray down on his desk and moving towards Neville to wake him. Harry called him back, "I'll do it. Thanks Dobby. Could you bring a meal for Luna and me?"

"Yes Master potty, Dobby is happy to help Master Potty with his Nevie. Thank you Master Potty." Dobby blubbered.

Harry bared it with grace and a warm mute smile. That was the only way to make the genuflection end within this century.

As Dobby popped out to do as asked, Harry sat on the bed and gently stroked the lump that was Neville's covered shoulder.

"Hey love, how about you wake and eat a little? It'll do you good" he crooned.

A groan came form the blonde as his face scrunched up. While Neville woke Harry spied the bottles that had appeared on his nightstand. They weren't there that morning. In the background he heard Luna thank Dobby for their lunch. Soon she was sitting facing Neville on the other side of the bed.

Neville sighed and borrowed his face in the pillows before rubbing it halfheartedly with a shaky hand. He blinked and frowned when it wasn't Harry in front of him.

"Hu.."

"I'm here love, Luna came by to say hi." Harry held his breath, he wasn't sure if Neville would be pissed about that.

"Hey Luna." Neville croaked closing his eyes in exhaustion. And Harry sighed in relief.

"Neville, the furnwaggles and glockspurs are going to have a ball in this corner," she said pointing to the corner of the room near the window.

"Okay," Neville accepted readily.

"Want help to sit up? I've got lunch for you." Harry tried to coax again. Harry didn't like how Neville had seemed to lose weight already after only three days in the infirmary. Being thin and fey was all well and good, he couldn't deny Draco's aesthetic appeal for instance. But he liked his Neville wide and pudgy. The blonde had muscle and strength but it was so comfortable to cuddle to soft flesh and that bum in jeans! Down Harry, down!

With the help of Luna they got him upright enough to choke down his porridge. His colors paled but came back fast enough.

"What do you need take before you eat?" Harry asked as he arranged the tray to his satisfaction over Neville's lap.

"Uhmm, I think the instructions are next to the meds" Neville frowned as he sent a mildly affronted glare to the vials.

Harry indeed found a scroll beside. Severus had written it so it was neat and precise and he skipped to the dosages for midday meal. Neville had to ingest no less than five potions, fuck. Two before he ate, two while he ate and one that had, he read twice to be sure, injected after. WTF.

"You've got to inject yourself?" Harry needed to make sure he'd read right.

"Yeah", Neville said around a grimace from the ingested potions, three liquids, one powder. He coughed after the last one and tried to shovel more porridge to swallow it down.

"Hey easy," Harry urged.

"I practiced yesterday a couple of times. I can do it alright," Neville continued.

"I knew something had changed in you Neville," Luna said softly. "Didn't I tell you weeks ago that the Imoshurgles were screaming around your navel? They do that when the aura pales."

"I know," Neville acknowledge. "I should always listen to you, I should have gone hunting for the strings of time with you no matter how tired I was."

He didn't see Harry stiffen as he spoke but Luna's dreamy stare sharpened for a moment than focused back on her best friend, "Not hunt Neville, but catch so we can ride them," she clarified.

Neville nodded weakly.

After their brief lunch, Harry and Luna left Neville to rest, but not without a promise from Luna to come see them later with the last two issues of the Quibbler.

Second class after lunch, Harry shared it with Hermione. Again, Arithmancy was a class he had to take for Auror training and surely not of his choosing. During most of the class he felt Hermione send him pointed looks until he signed that they would meet later. As soon as class ended his elbow was grabbed and he was pulled away from the main student body in an alcove of the fountain courtyard. The sun was blinding, hence it was freaking freezing with the snow crunching underfoot as Harry fidgeted.

"What's going on Harry?" Hermione went straight to the point. "We've been waiting for you," she whispered " we've found indications for the thrid hx (not to say horcruxe)"

Harry jumped. With all that was going on with Neville, the impossible had happened and his hunt of Voldermort's scattered remains had slipped from his mind. Still, they had found the second horcruxe relatively fast after Dumbledore's help and of course on their own the third was being a little more difficult. Yet, with the most clever witch of the century, of course they had clues only six months later.

Harry grinned, "Mione, you're awesome."

Hermione grinned back, "It wasn't all me." and she chuckled at Harry's side glance. "Still, " she continued sobering up, "you know that we want to act swiftly, we have less time with every destroyed horcxruxe before HWMNBN is aware of it."

They'd gone back to calling the snake lord by other monikers than the ones he chose. Turns out that saying his real name was the reason he could break into Hogwarts. His name was a fucking homing beacon. They'd learn it the hard way when Hermione disappeared for three weeks of torture she still couldn't openly discuss without getting clammy. Still, that one made you think of a lame boyband.

"I know, I'm sorry Herm," he sighed " It's just I've been preoccupied with Neville."

Her face obscured, "I thought as much. How is he?"

Harry rubbed his chest " Not good. Headmaster Snape has him following a frankly horrendous treatment. Neville says his disease is chronic and ..." His lips shook, " Hermy, he vomited blood this morning. He's exhausted, he's losing weight...I can't, I..."

"Oh Harry," She pulled him tight against her and the taller man buried his face in her neck trying to get a grip on his emotions. Soon enough he pulled back. "I'm good. I'm good, sorry."

Hermione shook her head and stroked his cheek. He breathed deeply.

"I need you Hermy, I know that I'm asking too much but I need you."

"Anything Harry."

"Can you come to my rooms after class?"

"yeah, sure"

"If you could, could bring some medical books with you. Neville says it's a blood disease that affects his organs, heart, liver, kidney and maybe more. He's got to get treatment through his spinal chord."

"Injections?" Hermione exclaimed. It was unheard of in the wizarding world to be treated by means other than charms, spell or potions. Magic folk found intrusive medicine abhorrent, unless for emergency surgery, and even than. Blood, organs, flesh were imbued with ones personal magic and could be ingredients to very dark curses indeed.

"yeah,"

"Okay, I'll be there," Hermione looked at the time, "Damned I have to run my class is near the lake."

"Kay, sure," Harry had only time to drop a quick kiss to her forehead before she was off. 

* * *

to be continued


End file.
